ultrafanfandomcom-20200214-history
Ultraman Leg Episode 3
Space Garrison Commander Rauda was, by all accounts, an intimidating person. Many a villainous overlord had been reduced to little more than a wet stain on her gleaming steel fists. A single swing of her mighty glaive, The Lutefisk, could mow down entire enemy armies like weeds. But her physical prowess was far from being the most intimidating thing about her. Indeed, it was her ability to stay unshakably calm and collected even in the direst of crises that instilled terror even in the bravest of hearts. …Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep… Right now, however, Rauda was quite close to losing her cool. Closer than she’s been for millenia, in fact. '' …Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…'' No. She had to stay calm. …Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep… A Space Garrison Commander couldn’t afford to lose in any situation. Not even in trivial matters like this. …Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep… '' ''Taking a deep breath and steeling herself, Rauda pressed a button on her left wrist, finally putting an end to the disgustingly irritating beeping. The cybernetic limb let out a whirr, a tiny communicator device folding out. Rauda let out a sigh. '' ''In the furthest corner of the room, an uncharacteristically somber, heavily bandaged Hakarl croaked out a wheezy “good luck”. Here. We. Go. “HELLO THERE RAUDA DEARIE!” the voice that blared from the speakers, though hoarse and screechy with age, was filled with so much unbridled enthusiasm that the nearby window couldn’ t withstand it and promptly shattered. Rauda growled under her breath. That had been her last window. “Greetings. Master.” She forced out, aggressively picturing chirping birds and flowery meadows in her mind. “HOW IS OUR LITTLE RISING STAR DOING?” '' ''“Master. With all due respect…This is your tenth call in the last HOUR. I kindly ask you to be just a little bit more patient.” '' ''“Oh, come ooooooon!” the caller whined childishly, “I’m just so excited! Oh my King, how long has it been since I last had a student? We’re talking millennia here, dearie! And now not only am I about to get a fresh new student, but such a talented young fella at that! History is about to be made, Rauda dearie! Aren’t you excited? How can you NOT be excited? Sweet King, I am SO pumped right now, I could seriously just shove the entire Plasma Spark up my… Welp, on second thought, that actually might not be the best idea…Ahem, anyway, I just want you to know that I’m really looking forward to meeting my dear student-to-be! I hope he is as pumped for his training as I am! HE BETTER BE!!! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!! ” The man on the other side of the line cackled like a hyena before screeching out a “Ciao!” and hanging up. '' ''A metallic clang echoed across the room as Rauda’s palm violently collided with her forehead. In the corner, Hakarl hysterically wept into his bandages. As expected, recovery was an extremely boring process. The taste of the gourmet comfort food sent by Leg's doting family soon grew bland. Any kind of physical activity other than sitting on a bench in the Silver Cross Hospital’s garden was strictly prohibited, so all Leg could do to entertain himself was browse the Land of Light's social networks on his brand new datapad – yet another of the consolation gifts from his parents. But the online content turned out to be just as boring as everything else. Nothing but an endless stream of unimaginative memes with a couple of whiny statuses mixed in. Seriously, how could crudely drawn digital sketches of some elderly-looking Ultra with what appeared to be the ugliest mustache in the universe be so popular? The users worshipped this character, (from what Leg could gather, he went by the name Eeznus, which was almost as ugly as his mustache), like some kind of benevolent deity, some even dedicating fifty-page epics to the ridiculous heroic deeds that were attributed to him. "When the mighty Eeznus gets an itchy back, he uses the Giga Battle Nizer as a backscratcher! When the mighty Eeznus gets hungry, he can swallow an EX Zetton without chewing! The mighty Eeznus can win a staring contest with his eyes closed! Did I mention the mighty Eeznus can lift ten thousand Skydons? What the hell? Who reads this sh*t and thinks it's funny? F*ck Eeznus and f*ck that mustache of his and also f*ck my LIFE!" Exasperated, Leg threw his datapad into one of the Ultraseven-shaped fountains decorating the garden before realizing what he did and dashing after it with a shriek. However, his still-healing legs just weren’t having it. Collapsing to his knees as his legs gave out, the miserable blue Ultra could only watch as his brand new gadget cracked its screen against the stone Seven’s protruding slugger before being completely submerged in the fountain. “F*uuuuuuuuuuuuuck….” Leg groaned, staring into the fountain’s depths in despair. His only form of entertainment, as crappy as that entertainment was, was now gone. Just his luck. He tried to get up to trudge back to his hospital room, but his legs simply refused to work. Welp. It’s not like making it back to his room was going to alleviate his boredom in any way. Besides, leaning his head against the cool stone rim of the fountain’s basin felt kinda comforting. Before he knew it, Leg had fallen into an uneasy sleep, his dreams filled with rippling muscles and deathly dark Color Timers and mocking laughter. “Your attacks...THEY HAVE NO WEIGHT BEHIND THEM AT ALL!” '' ''“The likes of you are merely pebbles under my feet!” “All of that potential you have has amounted to nothing more than Birdon sh*t!” Damn you, Brotein. Damn you to hell… “SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!” Leg yelled, violently jerking awake and shocking a nearby nurse into dropping what was probably the fanciest cake in the universe on the floor, splattering its rich creamy innards all over the place. As he caught his breath and got his bearings, he realized he was back in his hospital bed, hooked up to a lightblood drip. His wet, dented and obviously unusable datapad lay on his bedside table. Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit. He was so tired of being stuck in the hospital, but it seemed like he wasn’t getting out of there any time soon. Hell, he didn’t even know if he was ever going to make a full recovery. Dammit. Back then, as he lay facedown in the dirt, Leg had made a promise to Brotein. “I WILL TRAIN HARDER THAN YOU EVER HAVE, AND SOMEDAY I WILL DEFINITELY DEFEAT YOU!!!” He promised, didn’t he? He promised Brotein that he would defeat him! But how could he live up to that promise if he was going to be stuck in the hospital for eternity? And even if he did recover fully, even if he trained his ass off for years, decades, centuries, would he really be a match against Brotein? He was so overwhelmingly strong... Back when he had just woken up after a week-long coma, the first thing he had been told was… "Hhhhh...What happened? My body feels like I got sat on by a Skydon..." Leg mumbled weakly as the blurry world slowly shifted into focus. "You were in a fight..."one of the Silver Cross nurses began to explain with great unease, "...With that super-strong Zombie Challenger guy who destroyed our training facility...You fought valiantly but..." The blue Ultra shuddered violently, the memories of his brutal defeat flooding back. '' ''"Don't try to sugar-coat it." he swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat, "The way I fought was anything but valiant. I never stood a chance against Brotein..." "B-but the most important thing was that you did your absolute best!" the nurse gave Leg a shaky smile that sickened him to the core. Was that nurse right? Did he really have no choice but to be satisfied with the fact that at least he had tried his best? No, NO! There's no way he could settle for a pitiful existence like that. He had always been a prodigy, always a winner...Being brought down like that...Living as a loser, always knowing that he was inferior... That would be way too painful to bear...He couldn't let it happen! But was it really possible for him to catch up to Brotein? Leg’s entire body ached dully and he was probably running a fever. Again. However, the feelings of disappointment and frustration from losing to Brotein pained him much greater than the half-healed physical wounds. Dammit, it wasn’t just his body that was wrecked to hell and back, his self-esteem was faring even worse. "P-please try to cheer up…Y-your family sent you another care package…" seeing the obvious distress on the blue Ultra’s face, one of the nurses walked over to his bed, taking extra care to avoid stepping on the cake guro on the floor, and sheepishly held up a fancy box with "Get well soon Leg" embroidered on its side with golden thread, hoping to at least somewhat lift the former prodigy’s spirits. "There’s the hottest new video game console, some gourmet treats...There was also...A cake....But I...I'm really sorry about the cake." "I don't care about no damn care package, leave me alone!" Leg snapped at the nurses, trying his best not to break down crying in front of them. The nervous one shrieked and hastily retreated from the hospital room, dragging her colleague along with her. Leg dug his face into his pillow. Brotein's mocking laughter still echoed in his ears. And with every passing second he was becoming more and more convinced that the bastard had been right about him all along. “Bye, weakling! Fighting you has been nothing more but a waste of life!” "I'M! SO! F*CKING! WEAK!!!" Leg shouted in anguish, tears welling up in his eyes. “So…Do you want to get stronger then?” What the hell? What was that voice? Leg could swear there was no one else in his room but him. “Come on Leggy my boy, there’s no need to cry! Turn that frown upside down!” Great. Not only was he in a hopeless situation, but he was also beginning to hallucinate. “Come on dearie, don’t you want to get stronger and wipe the floor with that edgy Brotein fellow?” The weird screechy voice was getting louder. Blinking the tears out of his eyes, Leg frantically searched the hospital room for its source, but his efforts were fruitless. “Where the hell are you?” “Aw, come on. Can’t you see I’m right here?” the voice was beginning to sound impatient. Wait a second… His broken datapad? Could this voice be coming through the speakers of his broken datapad? But how was that even possible? Hadn’t it shut down permanently? Stumbling over to his bedside table on unsteady legs, Leg took a look at his datapad, only to recoil in horror. The device was, without a doubt, wrecked beyond repair, its cracked screen stuck forever on one of those unsettling digital caricatures of Eeznus. The omnipotent meme man stared back at Leg from the screen, those emotionless yellow eyes with black pinpricks of pupils boring down into his very soul, sending an inadvertent shudder through his body. But the most horrifying thing of all… Under that criminally ugly mustache, the drawing’s mouth was moving. Moving perfectly in sync with the words coming out of the datapad’s speakers. Leg screamed. “Woah woah woah there buckaroo!” the datapad exclaimed indignantly, “Don’t be so loud! You almost gave this poor old man a heart attack!” “WH-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!” Leg stammered, frantically scrambling away from the seemingly possessed device. “''Save the small talk for later. Let’s get to the point! Do you want to get stronger or not?”'' “Get…Stronger? You mean you’re offering to…Train me?” Leg slapped himself mentally. Was he really so desperate that he was willing to take up on some kind of terrifying meme ghost ‘s training offer? “Exact-a-mundo! Wanna become my student, Leggy boy?” the crude drawing’s mouth stretched in the widest of grins. Now come to think of it…He had already hit rock bottom, hadn’t he? Did he really have anything to lose? What’s the worst that could happen if he were to accept that offer? Whatever it could be, it couldn’t get possibly get any worse than being this miserable. F*ck it all. Even if he’s dreaming, even if it’s just a hallucination, there’s no harm in trying. Falling to his knees in front of the bedside table, Leg prostrated himself, pressing his forehead against the floor even as his injured body violently protested. “PLEASE MAKE ME YOUR STUDENT…MASTER EEZNUS!!!” he yelled out, suddenly finding himself tearing up once again for a reason he could not pinpoint in the slightest. “KAAAAKAKAKA” the mysterious meme man cackled, “''A wise choice, my boy. Hop in! We’re going training!”'' “Hop in? What the hell are you talking abo-“ As an endless stream of digitally amplified KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAs poured through the speakers, the crude drawing’s jaw began to unhinge, its mouth stretching far beyond the screen of the datapad, beyond the surface of the bedside table…Inside of the gaping maw of the meme man an inky black void swirled, welcoming, beckoning… Shrieking in terror, Leg desperately tried to scramble away from the ever expanding void, but his efforts were fruitless. In a matter of seconds he was up to his chin in swirling darkness. He could only scream and thrash helplessly as he was devoured. And then, everything went black. -- The first thing he was aware of was the unmistakable smell of freshly baked pastry wafting over his face. Miclas milk. Esmeraldan lime peel. Cinnamon. It smelled like…Home. Try as he may to clear his vision, the thick red fog obscuring it stubbornly refused to fade. He could barely make out the silhouette of an Ultra trudging through the fog, the smell of pastries intensifying as they got closer. The fog felt warm and cozy, enveloping Leg’s body like one of those fluffy blankets his parents used to wrap him in as they tucked him into bed. It emitted a soothing hissing noise as it rose thickly off the ground, lulling the weary blue Ultra to sleep. The silhouette, its features still indistinguishable amidst the fog, approached, bringing with them the smell of pastries and warm milk. They reached out to place a soothingly cool hand on Leg’s forehead, checking his temperature. At the same time, what appeared to be a cookie was pressed to his lips. It tasted just like the fresh cookies he used to eat back home as a child. “M…Mom…” the groggy Ultra mumbled, shakily reaching out to the obscured figure. “KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!!!” they responded, a painfully familiar grinning face bursting forth from the fog. Leg screamed. The cookie he had been eating was shaped like Eeznus’ face. He screamed even louder. “Wakey wakey eggs and bakey, Leggy Boy!” Eeznus crooned. Then he blew an airhorn right into Leg’s face, drowning out his screams of terror. Leg screamed louder still and kicked Eeznus in the jaw. “Geez, that was the weakest kick I’ve ever taken in my life,” Eeznus sighed in disappointment, holding a thrashing and cursing Leg up by his left ankle, “Your body really is wrecked to sh*t, isn’t it? Edgy McBeef sure did a number on you back then!” The last thing Leg saw before blacking out for the umpteenth time that day was Eeznus bludgeoning him over the head with some kind of shiny rock. “…All better now!” Eeznus announced cheerfully as he slapped his new student back into consciousness. As Leg awoke, three things became clear to him. 1) 1) Eeznus was a dick. 2) 2) They were currently in some kind of volcanic wasteland riddled with dozens of geysers and lava lakes. 3) 3) After being hit with that rock, his body felt good as new and overflowing with strength. “I must be tripping balls.” Leg muttered, stupefied. “Nope, I can assure you that none of this is a figment of your imagination, Leggy my boy! And, in case you’re wondering, neither am I!” “Then where the hell am I?” “I like to call this place my kitchen! The birthplace of the galaxy’s most magnificent cookies! By the way, finish your motherf*cking cookie Leg. I didn’t bake it just so you could throw it away!” Eeznus said sternly, placing a glass of warm milk in Leg’s lap. Leg gave the milk the most suspicious of stares. “Aw, come on! Why would I try to poison my new student?” “Why should I trust you?” Leg scowled, “Who the hell are you anyway? The only thing I know about you is your name and the fact that you can apparently lift ten thousand Skydons!” “Kakaka,” Eeznus chuckled, “Ten thousand? Hardly. Not in my current condition, at least.” Creepy face and sickeningly ugly mustache aside, the fabled meme man looked surprisingly harmless. An Ultra of comparatively short stature, his limbs long and lanky for someone of his height, his posture slouched with age. He was just a regular old geezer, wasn’t he? Wait, what the hell? How was it possible for this tiny old man’s body to be so freaking ripped? Suddenly him lifting ten thousand Skydons didn’t seem so far-fetched after all. “Since you’re wondering who I am,” Eeznus bowed theatrically, “Eeznus, Elite Space Garrison Training Instructor, at your service!” The last Slugger that remained of the cookie fell out of Leg’s mouth. “Wait…You mean Commander Rauda officially allowed you to train people?’ “Oh, no, the one who approved me as a training instructor was the Father of Ultra. Commander Rauda herself is, in fact, one of my dear students! But I digress! We’re wasting valuable training time with all this chatter! Come with me, my boy!” The triple-sluggered Ultra snapped his fingers, and before Leg had the time to react, his vision went black and his senses were assaulted by the sensation of being violently squeezed through a narrow tube. As that odd feeling finally subsided, the first thing he saw was Eeznus’ face-splitting grin. “Make a wish, Leggy my boy! You’ve just had your very first teleportation experience!” “Teleportation?” “It takes thousands of years of practice, but If you don’t slack on your ESP training, someday you’ll be able to do it as well! The change of scenery had been quite radical. Instead of lava lakes and geysers teal-colored mountains and glowing neon pink meadows stretched as far as the eye could see. “This is gonna be your training ground! Pretty isn’t it?” Eeznus beamed. “The color palette of this place sure is…Something.” Leg grimaced. “Of course it’s something! Something absolutely beautiful!” Eeznus did a cartwheel out of sheer excitement. “Uhhh…” “Alright, enough lollygagging! Let’s get to the point!” Plopping down onto a nearby boulder, Eeznus pulled out a crumpled piece of space paper, “You want to get stronger so you can beat this guy, right?” “Wait.” Leg’s jaw went slack, “Brotein’s a wanted man?” “A VERY wanted man!” Eeznus winked. “What for?” “Ah, the usual. Murder. Dining and dashing. Stealing 40 000 tons of fish from Planet Shish. Stealing the moon of Planet Shish. In fact, I was lucky enough to witness the last two crimes with my own eyes!” “Wait a second. Are you saying BROTEIN STOLE AN ENTIRE MOON?” “I heard he did put it back later, so in my opinion, the authorities are being a little bit harsh with the accusations. Not to say that temporary moon theft isn’t serious in any way…You sure picked a tough opponent to beat, Leggy my boy…” “I know. He said he aims to become the best fighter in the entire universe…” Leg cringed, memories of his defeat flooding back once again. “I watched your fight against him too, ya know.” Eeznus frowned, “Worst case of second-hand embarrassment I’ve ever felt to be honest.” “Haaaaarsh!” Leg groaned, clumsily falling over out of sheer exasperation. “That promise you made to him after you got defeated…I heard it as well. “I will train harder than you ever have”. Leggy my boy, do you realize what you’ve gotten yourself into?” the old master’s eyes glowed ominously. Leg gulped, suddenly feeling his knees begin to shake. “Well my dear buddy friend chum pal amigo mate chum friend, the thing is, last time I saw Brotein, he was f*ckin benchpressing that goddamn moon. For reps, I might add!” “BENCHPRESSING…AN ENTIRE MOON!!!!??????” by now Leg was sure his jaw was completely dislocated. He knew that Brotein was ridiculously strong, but strong enough to LIFT MOONS???? “See, my boy? This is the level of training Brotein subjects himself to! And if you want to have the slightest chance of catching up to him in the foreseeable future, you need to go beyond that!” Eeznus pumped his clenched fist into the fluorescent yellow sky, “Far beyond that!” for a moment, Leg could swear he saw actual flames erupt from his master’s pupils. “There is a problem though,” Eeznus said, scratching his chin, “An Ultra’s body can only handle so much training before it begins to break down from the stress.” Leg felt his heart sink into his feet. “Are you…Saying that it’s not physically possible for me to catch up to Brotein?” “Not at all, dearie!” Eeznus grinned, “This is when it comes into play!” “It? What are you talking about?” “Remember that rock I hit you with to heal you?” Eeznus opened his palm, revealing a small mint-green gemstone, now embedded into a headband much like his own“This, my boy, is called the Asclepper,'' and for the next year of your life this little rock is gonna be both your best friend and your worst enemy.” “Uhhhh…And how exactly is this weird rock supposed to help my training?” “It’s quite simple, actually!” Eeznus explained as he tied the headband around Leg’s forehead, “I’m not going to sugar-coat it. Leg, you suck. At your current level, it’ll take you around a century to catch up to Brotein’s current level. And, as you might imagine, by that time he will be much, much stronger than he is now. In other words, there’s no way you can catch up to him through any normal training! “Dammit Master why do you have to be so goddamn harsh?” “Shush, my boy! Now imagine what would happen if you had the ability to train non-stop without ever getting tired and needing to rest? If my calculations were correct, if you spend every single second of one year busting your butt, in that year it would be possible for you to accomplish a hundred years’ worth of training! One hundred years of training condensed into one! Sounds neat, huh?” “Sounds totally unrealistic! How the hell am I supposed to like, NOT get tired?” “This is where this cute little rock comes into play! You see, an Asclepper at full charge emits waves of healing energy non-stop for a little bit over a year. When you train while wearing it, it constantly repairs and rejuvenates your body, making physical fatigue literally impossible! Furthermore, not only does its effect rejuvenate your body, but it also vastly augments your learning capabilities, making it possible for you to quickly master techniques that would otherwise take years to perfect! Oh, and not to mention you’re also pretty much immortal while wearing it. As long as some part of your body is in contact with the Asclepper, any wound will heal, and dismembered limbs will grow back! Now isn’t that just RADICAL, Leggy my boy?” Eeznus beamed, violently booping the Asclepper with his finger. “This sounds too good to be true,” Leg grumbled skeptically, “Are you sure this is gonna work?” “I GUARANTEE IT!” Eeznus announced enthusiastically, performing a triple backflip for extra emphasis, “After all, back in the day Uncle Zero used the same method to train yours truly!” “Uncle Zero? You mean THE Ultraman Zero?!” Leg gasped. “KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!! EXACT-A-MUNDO! I’M HIS NEPHEW! AND HIS STUDENT!” Eeznus puffed his chest out proudly. “THE ASCLEPPER TRAINING METHOD IS 100% ZERO-APPROVED!” “Well, I guess you just can’t argue with a legend.” Leg sighed. “Alright Master Eeznus, I’m ready for training.” “ARE you?” Eeznus winked, “Are you SURE you’re ready?” “Wha-“ “Take a look at this, my boy!” Eeznus pointed at a nearby cliff face. “WAIT A SECOND, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS????” Masterful stone carvings of Ultras decorated the cliff face. Their heads bowed in shame, their faces twisted in agonized grimaces, the waters of the waterfall crashing down onto them from above streaming down their cheeks like eternal tears. The sheer desperation and suffering conveyed by that haunting piece of art sent Leg’s insides rolling with nausea. “Kakakakaka,” Eeznus chuckled eerily, “This, my boy, is my portfolio! Pretty neat, don’tcha think?” “What the actual f*ck is this all about, Master Eeznus? You’re freaking me out!” “It’s simple.” Eeznus smirked, “Those who fail to withstand my training and quit all end up on this rock! The question is, do YOU have what it takes not to end up in my portfolio, Leggy my boy?” His heart pounding in anxiety, Leg couldn’t stop himself from staring at the carving, suddenly feeling extremely unsure of his abilities. A familiar face met him, eyes screwed shut in anguish, that ever-present goofy grin a strained, disturbing rictus. “Is that…Instructor Hakarl?” “That’s right! He used to train with me many millennia ago, along with two of his siblings, Aqool and Rauda! Hakarl quit after two months. His brother Aqool dropped out after half a year. Nobody heard from him ever since! So far, Commander Rauda remains the only Ultra to ever complete my training successfully! Now you may ask, how exactly could this training be hard if you’re literally unable to get tired? Well, let’s just say the Asclepper method has one tiny lil’ drawback…” Leg gulped. “You see, my boy, the Asclepper will indeed take away all of your injuries and fatigue. But only in a physical sense.” The old Ultra’s eyes darkened “You see, what we call “pain” and “suffering” is actually just simple feedback. The Asclepper only gets rid of physical damage. It can’t remove the feedback your brain will receive from taking that damage. In other words, ''you’re going to feel it all. Now, normal training can already be painful sometimes. Cramming one hundred years of training into one also means the same for suffering. You’re going to experience a century’s worth of pain and fatigue in a year, my boy! Your body will stay fresh as a daisy, but trust me, mentally, you’ll be going through what probably qualifies as the most brutal of tortures! It takes a phenomenal amount of guts to survive through a single day of this, let alone an entire year!” Leg shivered violently, inadvertently letting out a whimper. Just what the hell was he getting himself into? Experiencing a century’s worth of suffering in a year? Even imagining it terrified him to no end. Even if it meant becoming strong enough to defeat Brotein, was it really worth it to go through this kind of torture? Leg was unsure if he could keep himself from losing his mind if he were to be subjected to something like that. Of course, Eeznus was bound to notice his hesitation sooner or later. “It’s okay, my boy…It’s not too late to turn back yet if you feel too scared.” The ancient warrior whispered, meeting Leg’s eyes with his haunted stare “If you back down now, you won’t even end up in my portfolio! You’ll simply return to living your life as a normal, average Ultra. I know from experience how terrifying this method of training is. There’s nothing wrong with turning back.” Sh*t. Dammit, he couldn’t go to such lengths… He just couldn’t do it. Even though this meant accepting defeat… Even though this meant a life of mediocrity and inferiority… Even if this meant that Brotein was right about him all along… He couldn’t imagine himself withstanding this much suffering. He had to quit now. “Master…I’m sorry…” Leg choked out, desperately holding back tears. “So quitting it is, then?” Eeznus nodded his head in understanding. “Y-yes…” “Alrighty then!” The Asclepper headband was untied from Leg’s head with surprising gentleness. But as soon as the gentle press of the gemstone against his forehead was lifted, a horrifying realization flashed through Leg’s mind. What the hell was he doing? Just what the hell did he just reject? This was wrong. This was all wrong. Was he really about to return to a life of boredom? JUST HOW STUPID COULD HE GET? How could he not have realized it earlier? The reason he wanted to get stronger… It had nothing to do with beating Brotein. It’s just that… Back then, when he still thought he was matching Brotein blow for blow… That was the only moment when Leg could honestly say that he felt alive! It wasn’t about winning or losing. What was he fighting for? The answer was all too simple. He was fighting for the sake of fighting. The only thing that could make him feel truly alive was the excitement of facing off against a strong opponent. Experiencing failure for the first time had affected him so deeply, it made him completely forget about such a crucial thing! Brotein was the one aiming for the title of number one in the universe, not him! The reason why Leg wanted to get stronger was… To experience fighting Brotein on even terms. And then… The multiverse was enormous, and within it lay so many more potential opportunities for exciting battles. If Leg were to continue improving himself, continue evolving, those opportunities would only grow in number. That was it! At last, he had found it! The permanent way out of his hell of boredom!!! AND NOW HE WAS ABOUT TO REJECT IT SIMPLY BECAUSE OF A LITTLE SHORT-TERM PAIN? “DAAAAAAAAAAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!” Leg yelled out into the sky, startling Eeznus. “Hey, are you okay, Leggy boy?” “I…” he muttered, keeping his head down, his voice shaking., “I take it back. I want to go through with the training.” “Oh! So your desire to defeat Brotein is that strong after all?” the old master smirked. “It’s not like that.” “Huh?” “I mean, I do want to defeat him, but it’s simply to settle the score between us since he curbstomped me so badly last time. But I’ve just realized something much more important. The true reason I want to get stronger…Is to experience as many exciting battles as I can!” The face of the triple-sluggered warrior stretched in a wide toothy grin. “A WONDERFUL GOAL, MY BOY!” Eeznus exclaimed, putting Leg in a headlock and noogying him violently, “BECOMING STRONGER SIMPLY TO EXPERIENCE THE JOY OF A GOOD FIGHT AGAIN AND AGAIN…I TOTALLY APPROVE OF THAT! NOTHING IS MORE FUN THAN AN EPIC ALL-OUT BATTLE! Baking cookies comes in a close second place, though!” Leg gave his master a shaky smile. He was far from unafraid of what was to come. In fact, he was scared sh*tless. But the excitement for the infinite possibilities that lay ahead made the prospect of the upcoming hell just a little bit more bearable. “Here you go, Leggy my boy!” Once again, he was outfitted with the Asclepper headband. Once again, the ghosts of Eeznus’ portfolio came back to haunt him. But this time Leg would not yield to the fear. He was certain that he was going to get through this. The reward at the end seemed way too tempting to back down even in the face of the worst suffering in the universe. “Hope you're ready, Leg! I'm about to take you to a world where all that exists is boundless suffering and boundless possibilities!” Eeznus grinned. “I’m ready!” Leg grinned back at him, even as his heart pounded with terror. “Oh, and just in case you suddenly have a change of heart, there’s a bell near the portfolio rock. Ring it if you want to quit. Of course, now you WILL be added to the wall of shame!” “Master Eeznus, now that’s just plain evil!” “KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKA!!!” “Dammit Master Eeznus!” “Okay, let’s not waste the Asclepper’s energy just standing around! After all, once it runs out of juice, it’s not gonna charge fully again for the next 1000 years!” “SAY WHAT?” “KAKAKA! Just why do you think I only accept students once every thousand years?” “You never told me that!” “Anyway, let’s get to the point! I’ve already devised a well-rounded training program for you! It includes physical conditioning, martial arts training, beam attack practice, ESP practice and, since your body has to be ready for all the super-cool techniques I’m about to teach you, even more physical conditioning! And guess what, we’re starting RIGHT NOW!!!” “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH?” “I’M SO EXCITED!” Eeznus squealed, violently cartwheeling around the meadow. ”AREN’T YOU EXCITED TOO, MY BOY?” “YES, MASTER EEZNUS! I AM EXCITED!” came Leg’s enthusiastic reply even as the blue trainee screamed internally. “COMMANDER RAUDA! COMMANDER RAUDA DEARIE!” Eeznus telepathically yelled mid-cartwheel, “I GOT HIM! I WIN! I TOLD YA SO! THIS REALLY IS THE BEGINNING OF A BRIGHT NEW ERA, ISN’T IT?” Despite the fact that all three of her freshly-replaced windows had just shattered in a matter of milliseconds, Commander Rauda still found herself smiling. An important step forward had just been made. Perhaps there was hope for this world after all. Next episode preview: Leg: So I've spent almost an entire year busting my butt, and guess what? I'm on the verge of completing the ultimate technique for wiping the floor with Brotein! But how the hell am I supposed to complete it when someone constantly keeps trying to ASSASSINATE ME?!!!!!! Eeznus: Wait a second, is that...Geez dude, just how low are you willing to sink? Hakarl: No way! B-brother? You're alive?! Rauda: That armor he's wearing! It's the legendary Monster Eater! Mysterious stranger: Kekekekekekekeke...The time has come, "Master"! Eeznus: Unforgiveable! I must avenge Uncle Zero's honor! BOFAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Leg: Ugh...Why do I always end up getting dragged into some kind of f*cked up mess? Brotein: When am I gonna get more screentime, dammit? Leg: Next time, on Ultraman Leg...A Quitter's Ascension! Leg's Training, Ruined!? Leg and Eeznus: You wouldn't wanna miss it! Category:Ultraman Leg continuity Category:Ultraman Leg episodes Category:Fan Series Category:TheMoonShard